Is Dating An Older Man Weird? EXPLAINED

If a friend had confided that she — or he — was considering a relationship with such a significant age difference, I would have done my gentle best to discourage them. But here we are, coming up to our fourth wedding anniversary and still recovering from our son's second birthday party. Love is a wonderful and surprising thing and, as we tell people who ask how we met, we just kind of bumped and stuck.

To those on the outside, there are many disadvantages to our relationship.


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The mistake people make is thinking that we haven't given consideration to these ourselves. Of course we've thought about the future, of course we know things won't always be as easy and fun as they are now, and of course we realise that we look a little odd when we go out. We dated for six months before moving in together and several nights a week we would linger over dinner, drinking wine, talking about all the reasons we shouldn't commit to each other. It is a standing joke between us that because of those six months there is no good restaurant in Edinburgh I haven't cried in.


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  4. I can only imagine what they thought at the time, seeing a twentysomething girl in a denim mini-skirt coming in regularly for intimate dinners with a grey-haired suited man carrying a briefcase. They saw my tears, our first, nervous kisses and the intense, emotional conversations that lasted long into the night. It is tough, when you are giddily falling in love, to stand back and really examine your relationship with objective eyes, but we knew we had to. If we were serious about making things work in the longer term, we had to persuade our family and friends that this was the real deal and we couldn't do that without believing it ourselves.

    Before long, all that talking paid off and because we became completely confident in the strong foundations of our relationship, others did too. To anyone who sees us together, it is very obvious how deeply in love we are. Unlikely as it seems, there are advantages to a relationship with a big age difference too. Knowing we will never celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary means that we don't have time to waste. We make the most of every day and refuse to get caught up in the petty arguments that consume many couples.

    He's not my father, he's my husband | Life and style | The Guardian

    Young lives up to his name and has more energy and drive than most people — he often jokes that my maturity and his immaturity mean we meet somewhere in the middle and are just like an ordinary couple in their 40s. I'm not sure that's quite accurate, we are a good balance in terms of our personalities and bring out the best in each other. Once we were both fully committed to the relationship, we decided we might as well really go for it and pack as much into our lives together as possible. Almost exactly a year after we started dating, Young whisked me off to Paris for a long weekend.

    In that sense, the emotional ups and downs of our relationship are much like those of any other couple. We were both very strong, independent people with interesting things going on in our lives. When Young met my mother for the first time, less than a year earlier, he told her we were having fun but that there would be "no cottage, no marriage, and certainly no babies". It felt as if we had come a very long way, very quickly. Our post-engagement anxiety was short-lived and seven months later, friends and family surrounded us for our wedding day.

    It really was the happiest day of my life. My father, who is relieved to be older than my husband, if only by six months, gave a moving speech, noting that even before I'd told him about Young he knew there was someone special in my life because every time we spoke on the phone I had "bubbles in my voice". I was surprised on the day to realise that I had no nerves, just a calm feeling that this was absolutely the right thing. When Young began his vows, we locked eyes and the only way I got through mine without wobbling was by holding his gaze. If he were younger I'd date him in a heartbeat.

    How Much Older Are We Talking?

    I have yet to meet a guy my age as respectful as him. Why are older men so kind and respectful, while the younger ones are assholes and players? There are still younger men out there who were raised right who aren't assholes or players. Plenty of them in fact, they just aren't as boisterous as their knuckle dragging peers are. From my 40something perspective, a 50 something isn't terribly older than I am and I can say that men of all ages have been known to sing whatever tune he thinks a woman wants if its going to lead to her panties.

    This is not to say he is being disingenuous about his respect for you Again, still plenty of younger men who have been raised right In fact, it was him who always tells me that there aren't any good younger men amung my peers and he tells me I probably won't find another guy who will love and accept me the way he does.

    It was probably a way to keep my eyes on him and discourage me from looking elsewhere: This reply was removed by the author.

    Fabrics Send a private message. Edited on August 3, at This guy wants you To acknowledge that they may relate to you better or have more sexual stamina? Of course not, its in his best interests to minimize your peer group as much as possible while patting himself on the back as the superior option. Any man who says you cant do better than him - is best to be avoided. And that's not about age, just common sense! There is always a chance a guy is just after one thing with a woman regardless of age I think it is rather unlikely the typical 23 year old has anywhere near the life experience the typical 53 year old has It would have to take an exceptional 23 year old who was living well beyond her years maturity wise for a long while to even come close No, I would have nothing in common with someone that much older or younger.

    Himself Send a private message. I wouldn't be interested in dating a pensioner.

    I'm not interested in dating someone 30 years younger either as that would make me a pedo at my age. I'd much rather be with someone who is my contemporary and peer. It might be all right to casually date someone where there's an age gap, but for long-term, age difference correlates strikingly with the divorce. That says couples with an age gap are increasingly more at risk for divorce as the gap widens. So I figure with a 5-year age gap and a frugal wedding and modest ring, our chances are pretty good, at least actuarially.

    This reply was removed by a moderator. No it would be like dating someone old enough to be my dad AMRtx Send a private message. If you're just looking to have some fun for a couple of months, maybe. But long term, it likely won't work in your favor. When you hit 50, he will be 80, if he's even still alive! BiteMe Send a private message. Would I date a woman who's old enough to be my mother? If she had a very deep pocket, and, if I was attracted only to money, then of course, but I'm not the type of guy who's attracted to money.

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    He's not my father, he's my husband

    I'm attracted to a woman's character so if she doesn't have the character I like, I'm not going to date her. You could be the hottest woman on the planet. Men are always going to say no. Because this is a valuation based only on looks. It says that men don't think women can hold their looks into their 50's. But look at Halle Berry There are always exceptions, and yes the numbers are small but exceptions. I remember being in a race a few years back where they wrote the participants ages on their calves I think for age group placing , I was shocked by how many completely hot 40 something women there were.